#RevengeBody

Helllloooo!!!! Thanks in advance for reading. Just want to update & clear up some stuff. First of all, I want to detail my “revenge body” I have been talking about on Twitter. Basically, it’s only a revenge body for me. I’m not doing it to make anyone jealous or make them wish they were still with me. I’m doing it to prove to myself that I can get back to the body I had way before I got sick. I fucking miss how I looked & felt when I was much, much younger. My goal weight is 135-that means I have to lose 65 pounds. I’m determined as fuck. I have been using Pinterest like it’s my job, looking up all sorts of shit I can do to lose this weight & tone up so I’m not super flabby once I lose the massive amount of weight I’m going to lose. I am getting a bike soon, so that will be my main exercise.🚴🏾‍♀️ I’m SUPER excited to get this started. Going to start once the weather stays consistent because due to my seasonal affective disorder, I get extremely lathargic when it’s any bit cold, so I need it to be be Spring now so I can get this going!!!! Hoping to be to my goal weight or extremely close by August 1st & exceed that to at about 125 lbs. by Labor Day.💪🏾👊🏾

I did get a diagnosis the other day. I think I said in an earlier blog that no matter what, I just want a diagnosis. I’ll do what I need to do & deal with it, but I just want to know. I saw my gynecologist & have been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome, which explains a lot. Hoping to get it taken care of, which my gynecologist is working on it & I know she’ll do everything possible even though there is no cure. I also have to see a urologist to deal with my bladder issues. I think I know what’s going on, but I’m not a doctor, so I can’t just assume, I need an actual doctor to diagnosis me. I’ll let you know when I get in & what he or she says.

My diabetes is doing good, which is good, & means I can get my teeth taken care of. Making an appointment with a new dentist this coming week. I had to find a dentist who will be able to put me to sleep because Novocain doesn’t work for me & I’m going to probably have to have a few if not several teeth taken out due to them being decayed. I think I said why they are decayed before, but if not, it’s because of my diabetes, GERD, my autoimmune issues, & the fact that I smoke. I’m probably done smoking for good now. I quit all the time, but now they are just making me feel bad. I’ll finish the ones I have & be done. It’s an annoying habit. I’d rather suck my thumb until I’m 100 years old than smoke. My GERD is still an issue. I’m probably going to have to have more procedures to get that under control. My autoimmune issues are still a problem, too. I see my neurologist this Tuesday, so hoping I can get some answers from previous tests & also see what else I can do because dysautomia SUCKS. Hoping soon I know what is actually causing the dysautomia-that still hasn’t been determined & it needs to be so it can be treated along with the dysautomia.

More in the doctor category continues: I have a ganglion cyst on my bad wrist. I severely sprained my right wrist in 2003 & then in 2005, I broke that same wrist. To top it all off, I am, of course, right handed. So now I have arthritis in it & the ganglion cyst has made the pain unbearable. My hand is staying swollen as well. It’s awful.😩 So I need to have surgery to remove the cyst ASAP. Making an appointment with my orthopedist this week. My yearly eye exam date is set, so I will have new glasses in August.👓 I’m also making an appointment this week with my podiatrist to see what else can be done about my plantar fasciitis. I’m SOOOOO hoping that me losing a lot of this weight will help this issue, because my feet hurt SOOOOO fucking bad 24/7. I wanna cry all the time because the pain is so severe. So, here’s hoping getting some of this weight off will help.

So, my mom is thinking about taking some of her tax refund & moving. I want to, as long as I can take my cats. I think it’s fucking bullshit that most places refuse to let you own pets. You can’t be an animal lover & then discriminate against them in the properties you own. So, if my cats can’t go, I’m not going. So, yeah, it’s probably going to be impossible to find a place. But we’ll see how it goes. We need to move, but right now I’m just focused on getting healthy. I’ll deal with getting the money to move when it comes time for that, which won’t be anytime soon. We kind of have to move in case the bank takes our house since my mom filed in her bankruptcy almost 2 years ago.

I have decided I have no desire to go to school for anything or work. I hate to say I just want to live off the government, but right now, I just really want to. I don’t have the drive or work ethic to do it. I honestly don’t care how that sounds. That’s how I want it to be & that’s how it is for now. I have enough money to do it, so that’s how it’s going to be for as long as I can do it.

I did go back to Plenty Of Fish. Ugh. I know, I know, but I REALLY want to meet someone worth my goddamn time. I doubt I will, but you never know. I’m not desperate & I’m not just in it for sex. I really am looking. I kinda wanna wait until I’ve had stuff done with my health, but, I’m impatient as hell. I’ll update if I meet anyone worth my time. Judge me all you want in the mean time.

Okay, I THINK that’s it. For now. Will update again soon. Thanks so much for reading!!! Comment any questions or just regular comments about anything in this blog if you want, I’ll probably get back to you. Until next time…

Sydney xoxo

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3 thoughts on “#RevengeBody

  1. I agree with you about having a cat….while my cat is a cheetah and that provides a LOT of challenges (like cleaning up a dead meal),Paladin is my family and I can’t ever see myself living without him.
    I do hope you change your mind about working or school…not because of the living off the government because face it,they live off us. I just think you would do better mentally with a schedule and an activity that will boost your morale. Just putting that out there. So happy baseball is back!!

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  2. Okay, this is probably a pretty stupid question, but your cat doesn’t look like a cheetah…is it a real cheetah?? Also, I’ve been thinking about school & work since I visited the school. Honestly, I’m just focused on getting healthy. That’s where my head is at. Also also, HELL YES!!! Baseball is back, baby!!!! Cannot wait for Spring Training games to begin!!!!😍

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  3. Paladin is indeed part cheetah,he has clocked at 42 mph,47 mph after a dose of catnip….
    I spent the weekend watching college baseball on ESPN3!! I am so ready for Friday for the first game!
    GO YANKEES!!

    #AllRise

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