In My Head

OMG!!!! It’s been forever since I posted a blog…sorry. I will get better at posting more regularly, I promise. Just going to update on some things.

First of all, I’m doing a little better than I was the last time I blogged. I have my days, ups & downs. Some days are better than others. I don’t cut anymore. I have the scars which are a daily physical reminder of the pain I’m in. I no longer have a therapist & the only way I will have one again is if I can find one who “gets’’ me. I hated my last one, she was NOT a good therapist AT ALL. I do still see a psychiatrist which I really like. And speaking of psychiatrist, I need to tell y’all something…

I have been having seizures for the past almost 5 years. I have just now been told, for sure, that they are stress-related pseudoseizures. I’m relieved honestly, but also I wish it was something that could be aggressively treated instead of it just being all in my head. But at least it isn’t something fatal or anything.

I fucking quit smoking after my mom & I’s trip for her birthday in March & here I am back at it again. I know I need to quit, especially with me having COPD & asthma, but it does help with the stress. I will try again to quit, I promise.🚬

I did the big chop! Yes, I’m growing my hair out naturally. I love my curls & am tired of having straight hair, so I’m rocking my teenie weenie Afro(TWA). I did get a few wigs, two Afros(I only like the one though) & a loser curl one that I kinda like, but honestly, with some big hoop earrings I bought, I can rock my short hair easily. I love it!!! Pics on my Instagram, @mssydney1991.📱

Okay, so due to some things, I’m not going to be treating myself like I had said in a previous blog. Now that I know that nothing is wrong with me like I had been told I might have been, I can finally start exercising & losing this bullshit weight that I should of never, ever have gained. Gonna start exercising slowly. My goal is to be down to around 170 lbs. by my birthday, Thanksgiving this year. Wish me luck!!💪🏾

Okay, I think that’s all for now, new blog will be up sometime in the near future. Thanks for reading as always. Bye!!!

Sydney xoxo