Merry Christmas!

OMG!!!! It has been FOREVER since I’ve written a blog. I am so sorry!!! I promise in 2020 I will write more…especially since now that I have a lot to talk about. So let’s get into this blog!!!!

Currently I am sitting in my new house on my laptop in my brand new robe I got as an early Christmas present from my mom, which I LOVE!!!!! Yes, you read that first part right, I MOVED!!!! Myself, my mom, & my uncle all moved out of our crumbling house into an apartment about 10 minutes from my hometown. I like it, it’s nice. It’ll work until we can come up with something else. We’re thinking about staying here until Spring 2021 & tearing our old house down & putting my dream house in place of our old one-a mobile home!!! We’ll see what happens, I plan on getting my credit fixed & saving as much money as I can. Wanna know how? Read below!!! 🙂

I start schooling to become an STNA through a program the nursing home in my hometown does once in awhile on January 7th!!!! I CANNOT WAIT!!! I’ve been thinking about this career for awhile now & I already have a job with the nursing home for at least a year. I am beyond thrilled. I went in to the interview to fill out the application & the lady was so nice & told me before I even got the application halfway done that I was in, that they were going to pay for the schooling. I go to school from January 7th to the 23rd then either the 25th or the 26th I take the test. I pray I pass it the first time, I know I can. I cannot believe my dream is coming true. My dream job is right in front of me, I live in a clean house, my health is getting fixed as best it can, & I am just doing okay. They say it’ll all be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. I am finally able to say I’m okay. I am truly blessed & I thank God for all of it. My Grandma Dillon would be so proud of me & so would my Aunt Sus. I know they are my guardian angels & are guiding me through all this.

I am currently seeing a counselor I saw before, but honestly I am not a fan of her anymore. So, in February I will be going back to my old counseling center & seeing my old psychiatrist. I need to do it. I am doing okay as I said before & both my new-ish counselor & my horrible new psychiatrist think I need to be put in the psych ward. I’m not sure why as I’ve told both of them I’m doing well, not sure why they can’t take that & leave me alone. They even sent the police here because I walked out on the dumbass new psychiatrist I saw was just that, a dumbass. I’ve been stressed & depressed when we first moved in, which is normal. I was suicidal when we first moved in as well but now I’m doing beyond well. I’ll update on how I’m doing after I see my old counseling center in February, hopefully I can keep on the right track once I’m back there.

To update from my last blog, my mom & I didn’t go see Travis Tritt. Bummer!!! We really wanted to go but it just didn’t happen. Lost out on a chunk of money due to the insurance company being stupid as shit. Also, soon after my last blog, I quit my job at the hotel. It just wasn’t the job/career for me at all. I thought so, but NO. Being a STNA I hope will be the job for me. I love helping people & taking care of people so hopefully being a STNA will be the right job for me.

So, I have had a breakthrough. I am gay. I am a lesbian. I will never have sex with a guy ever again. It just sucks. I first had sex with a girl & should of stuck with doing that all the time. It was perfect. One of the best experiences of my life. The best sex I’ve ever had. It was beautiful. I think whatever is going on with my vagina is just another way of saying, ”Yeah, Sydney, having sex with a man isn’t the right decision.” Let me back up, I have something wrong with my vaginal area & am in the process of getting it taken care of. I’ll update when someone figures it out for me. I have said before that I am bisexual. I don’t like labels that much but for some reason it was easier to say that then it was to say gay. I hated that. I did it for my family. Now I just don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. I’m done. I don’t even want to be around guys unless they are gay(gay guys are THE best, especially my online Gusband!!!!). So yeah, there’s that. Be happy for me, please!!! 🙂

Okay, I think that’s it for now. Thanks so much for reading, Merry Christmas & I hope you all have the best year ever!!!! And as I said before, I promise to write more in 2020…my first blog of the new year will be up right before I start school on January 7th. Look for it & again, thanks so much for reading & I wish you all many blessings.

Sydney xoxo