Last Breath

I’m sitting here right now crying, smoking a cigarette(several), & listening to my favorite song, ‘Fallen’ by Sarah McLachlan. I’m in a horrible place. I just want to die. I just want to go home. They say “it will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it isn’t the end.” It will be okay for me when I take my last breath. Not before. I am so alone, I have nothing, I have no one. I’m fighting this horrific battle all alone. Alone with my demons. I just don’t want to be alive anymore. I’m cutting again. I just don’t know what to do. I wish I had killed myself a long time ago. I had a job interview a few days ago but I don’t think I’ll get the job. I’m just damaged goods. I have nothing to live for anymore. It just hurts to breathe. I just hate it. I just want to be free of this horrible world. My dreams die when I’m dreaming. My heart only breaks when it’s beating. I’m losing this horrific battle that I no longer want to fight.

Sorry this is so short, but I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading. I didn’t post this to get any kind of sympathy, I just wanted to update y’all on how I’m doing. Post a comment & I’ll respond. Thanks again for reading, it means a lot. Until next time, take care!!!

Sydney xoxo